I’m not saying I’m giving up on weight loss, but after 45 years of it being the fore front of everything about me, I’m just sick of it. I’m tired of looking at thin women wishing that was me and how much easier life would be if I looked like them. I’m tried of being defeated when clothing shopping. I’m tired of having to track, calculate, weigh, scrutinize all the food I eat. I’m tired of looking at food and wondering “can I eat that?” I’m tired of having cravings and thinking “I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t.” or “maybe in a month, IF I’ve been really good and lost some weight.” I’m tired of getting on the scale, looking at the scale, hating the scale. I’m tired of trying to find out what I ate to create a small gain so I don’t make that mistake again. I’m tired of men not looking me because I’m curvy. I’m tired of constantly thinking my boyfriend isn’t intimate with me because of my weight. I’m tired of reading all your posts about your weight loss journeys. I’m tired of seeing other people’s success while I make very little. I’m just so freaking tired of it all.
EDIT: Um, so I guess someone reported this post to some kind of suicide resource page on Reddit. Although I appreciate the concern, I am so far from suicidal. Please don’t see this as a cry for help, I’m not that kind of person. I appreciate everyone’s great comments and words of advise, but I am a very happy person overall. Just a happy person with extra wiggle in the truck and sway in the upper arms.